Listening to new puppy bark is as bad as hearing the new baby cry...2 minutes seems like an hour and 1/2. Trust me. I know these things.

New puppy does not LIKE new puppy's kennel. And yes I know she'd be much quieter and happier in my bed snuggled with me, but frankly I'm not a big fan of pee on my bed, so I suffer through the bark bark bark bark freaking bark, all night long. Or maybe not, since using the mathmatical equation above it could really only be 10.6 minutes, but I'm pretty sure it's all night.

So I got my jeans out of the dryer this morning and they were feeling a touch *ahem* snug, so I was doing some deep knee bends to stretch them out a little (oh, like you’ve never done that) and the seam on the inner thigh RIPPED open. Now, to be fair, they are really old jeans and my thighs always rub together, so in the offending seam’s defense, the fabric there may have been just a touch more delicate than originally intended by said offending jean’s manufacturer. Totally not acceptable. And no, I haven’t yet lost all my baby weight, thank you for asking, which brings me to my problem…these happen to be the only jeans I have that I can fit my *ahem* ample figure into at this current time. The only other clothes I can squeeze into are sweat pants which as we all know are totally inappropriate work wear. What’s a girl to do???

Keeping my legs clamped shut so no one can see my fat peaking out is a good inner thigh workout.