Sometimes I just don't want to do it anymore.

I don't want to be a wife. Or a mom. Or the responsible one. The one that schleps to work everyday to do something that seems vaguely like wasting one's potential away, only to finance the life the entire family is accustomed to but isn't what you dreamed it would be.

I'm tired. Of worrying. Of careing. Of wishing. Of feeling like I'm surrounded by selfish bastards that couldn't give two shits about how their actions affect those around them. And of feeling like they've got the right damn idea and I'm the idiot for not joining in.

Sometimes I think, "Today, I just won't GO home." But that won't solve anything. Sometimes I think, "Today I'll find the words to make them UNDERSTAND". But I'm pretty sure they don't exist. Sometimes I think, "Today, when someone asks 'how are you today' I'm just going to go ahead and say that I'm pretty sure I'm having a nervous breakdown, but thanks for asking". But I always chicken out. I always say "fine". I always lie.