Had my 2nd personal training session today.

1st, let's talk about the scale. I lost 1.5 lbs, which for me is like "yeah!", but she totally YELLED at me. she says I'm taking too many "liberties" with the diet she gave me and that everyone that is following her diet is losing weight much faster than me. She said I lack an adequate level of commitment. Ouch. I thought I was doing okay, and I'll certainly take a 1.5 lb loss over a gain or a stall any day. Plus, I thought that was a pretty "healthy" weight loss goal-wise. Anyway.

She worked my ass off, again (oh, if only that could literally be done in one session!) but she forbids me to kickbox on a day before I see her, because she said she's not getting enough out of me since I'm tired from the night before. I can see her point there...I was killer sore this morning and EXHAUSTED (couldn't possibly be exacerbated by her strict diet though), so after next week, I'll be changing the day I see her. but then she told me I'm one of her strongest contestants, so are you not getting anything out of me or am I strong...make up your mind lady!

So, I sort of already cheated at breakfast (had 1/2 a bagel) but I did it on purpose because I was so tired from last night, but other than that, I'm going to follow her diet EXACTLY for the next week (even though I sort of don't agree with all of it) and then see where that gets me. Then she can't yell at me if I don't lose "enough", because then I can be like "hey, it's your diet" and get all up in her grill and stuff. Oh, except I forgot that I'm a total sissy when it comes to confrontation, so I probably won't.

well, we're wrapping up week one here at contest central...I haven't weighed in yet (that's tomorrow morning w/trainer) but I did somewhere between really pretty good for me and not too terrible awful. I did 4/5 cardio workouts (I get really lazy come the weekend...have a hard time motivating myself to run after cleaning the house and mowing the lawn and oh, there's that not getting any sleep due to the 3 year old with the ear infection and all) I pretty much did the 3/3 weight workouts, only the last one was less a weight routine and more a weighted power 90 circuit, due to the fact that the crappy gym I work out at by my house is closing in Aug. and in preperation for closing in Aug. has decided to close on the weekends...yeah. convienent as hell. Upside: I joined a new gym today. As far as food...I did really really well till Friday. Lowering my carbs, though not as much as she wanted me too, but not eating any refined carbs at night. Then, Friday night, I was so exhausted and crabby I just wanted to cry. Fix? 1/2 a bagel with my chicken. NOT on her plan, but oh so much better then 1/2 gallon of cookie dough ice cream, no? Then Sat. the ear infection hit (3 year old, not me) and it was a rough day. I ate "clean" for most of the day, but only managed 3 meals, and then had a breakdown at 11:00 pm and ate 12 peanut m & m's. And, might I point out, how sad it is that I not only ate them, but I counted them first. Sunday, I woke, after the 15 minutes of sleep I got, with good intentions. Had a healthy b-fast, and then somehow managed to forget to eat until 4:00 that afternoon. I know. I'm broken. Did manage to eat clean at 4:00, and again at 8:00 so that's good...right? right? Today...so far, so good. Gotta grab something now and head off to kickboxing.

Onward to week 2.

Yesterday was my first day with my new trainer. And, incidentally, a night that I was going to kickboxing. My first clue as to what I was in for should have been when my trainer said “gee, I feel really bad about kicking your ass on a day that you’ll be back in a few hours for kickboxing…but I’m going to anyway”. Her idea of the “cool down” after so many squats and leg presses and jump squats and pushups with one hand on a step and step up’s with dumbbells and shoulder raises and curls, was to walk on the treadmill for 15 minutes. Oh, and did I mention it was at an incline of 15 and speed of 3.8? Yeah. Holding on for dear life THE. WHOLE. TIME. We talked about nutrition a little, but I’ve been doing a loose bfl for so long, that I kind of knew what she was talking about, so it didn’t take long. She does want me to pretty much cut out carbs in the afternoon, which I don’t think is going to fly with me. I get low on carbs and get all mean and headachy. And, she doesn’t want me to have any red meat for 10 WEEKS. Impossible. I’m a total carnivore, hate me if you must. Plus, I was raised by hillbillies so frankly she’s lucky that I don’t roll my protein bars in butter and cornmeal and deep fry them in bacon grease.

This morning? I woke up with legs of lead. Lead on fire. Molten lead. With other heavy stuff on fire mixed in. I briefly considered driving to the gym to throw rocks and sticks and large heavy pointed things at her, but I wasn’t sure I could push the brake pedal. So I fought my way down the stairs and wrestled the dog into her harness and hit the road. Her expectations are for me to do at least 5 days of high intensity cardio, which I figured was completely out of the question, you know, because of all of the lead and the fire. However, luck was with me, and, as it turns out, the uncontrollable sobbing as each foot hit the ground really does a lot to raise your heart rate.

Moving on.

After my two sessions yesterday, I arrived home a little after 8 and as I flopped like a rag doll onto the couch I said to my hubby “If I don’t sleep like a ROCK tonight, there’s something seriously wrong with me”. so, yeah, like I needed any clarification, of my serious wrongness, I couldn’t fall asleep for the life of me. By 2:30 I wanted to poke my eyes out. Again, though, luck was on my side, because I finally fell asleep around 3:15 and I didn’t have to get up to let the dogs out till 5:03.

Today will be long. Lead and fire, my friends, lead and fire.

Okay. 1st, my mom's partner finally died. I guess it wasn't easy either, but I didn't ask for any details, cuz she's taking it really hard, of course. Anyway, my point is, all of us kids have plenty of reasons to hold a grudge against my mother due to past "issues"...too long to explain, we'd be here all day...but while my siblings all continue to hold said grudge, I've been the one kid that has tried to let bygones be bygones, and continue a relationship, strange though it may be, with my mother. She's a weird bird, trust me. ANYWAY...since her partner died, I've been calling her usually 3 times a day, just checking up on her, offering that she should come down and stay with me for a bit, just to get away, etc. My brother? hasn't called her, says he won't. My sister, hasn't called her, says "why? I've got nothing to say". Me? On the phone, all the time. Point of the story, you ask? Well, I sent a gift basket to her for the "celebration of life" (read: wake) that she was having...you know one of those fancy ones with all the eats, and I signed the card from me and my hubby, my sister and her hubby, my brother and his wife, my dad and my stepmom, and all the grandkids. The day she got it she called to ask me if I saw the lovely basket my SISTER sent. I'm telling you I can't win. I've always known who the favorite is, but COME ON.

Last Monday, I signed up for a contest at my kickboxing gym...10 week transformation. I've kind of gotten bored with working out and burnt out on the bfl eating, so I thought this would be a good kick in the pants. So, my "trainer" was supposed to be Matt, and he was supposed to call me on Tuesday to set up a time to take my stats, run me through my 1st workout, and set up my workout/nutrition plan. Tuesday: no call. Wednesday: no call. I called at 3 and Kevin, the manager said "oh, Matt was out Tues., his wife had surgery, he got your paperwork today, and I told him to take special care of you...he'll call you later today". Okay, I can live with that. Wed. afternoon: no call. Thursday: Johnny calls...I'm your trainer...let's get you in here next wed. for stats and start. I was like, NEXT wed? that's like putting me a week and 1/2 behind! But, that's the best he could do, so fine. Whatever. Thursday night I just happened to be at the gym for kickboxing, and I saw Gretchen...head organizer of the contest. She says...NO...we need your stats before the weekend, can you run in for a minute on Friday, get your stats, and if you have time do your 1st workout? I was like YEH! then I'll only be a week behind...totally there. So Friday, I drive the 40 minutes it take me to get there, and JOHNNY DIDN'T SHOW! Okay. I'm now slightly aggravated (read: pissed). I talk to Kevin who wants me to come in Saturday, which I decline because there's no way I'm schlepping 4 kids to a gym that far away and then paying 5 bucks a head for their daycare. So, they schedule me for monday with Diane instead. Only on my way this morning, there's an accident on the highway, and my 40 minute trip took me 2 hours. Fuck. So I get there and she's already left. Gretchen went ahead and took my stats, which was good because their scale says I'm 2# lighter than my scale, and bad because I'm 27.5% body fat. Oy. But, she couldn't run me through a workout, because 1. she's a judge, and it wouldn't be fair for her to have a client in the contest and 2. she had a regular client waiting. So still no workout plan, and no nutrition plan, and I'm beginning to think someone just doesn't want me to do this contest.

End of rant. You may resume your regularly scheduled programming.

yeah, I know. It's been awhile. It's not that I don't love you, it's just that I've been busy/boring/unable to think of anything to write about. So here's a quick update, and I'll probably think of a million things I forgot to tell you, so, sorry in advance.

1. I almost punched my husband in the throat this morning because he set our alarm clock for 4:44 am, and then fell asleep upstairs. meaning: I had to get up at 4:44 am this morning, walk up 15 stairs and find his ass to wake him up. NOT pleased.

2. My brother's company is transfering him back home. Jealous much? Plus, they pay for re-locate, if his house doesn't sell in 30 days they take over payments, if his house does sell in 30 days, they give him 3% for not having to take over the payments.

3. But he has to have his dog put down, because it "snapped" and tried to kill everyone in the vet's office, so that sucks. (no, it's not the first time, but it's the first time that he did it with my brother there...they've been keeping him away from people and trying all sorts of training, but obviously there's something wrong)

4. My mom is gay. This is nothing new, but a preface to #5

5. My mom's lifepartner is dying. this is nothing new either...she's been fighting cancer since 2003, but it's like any minute now.

6. My vacation is 34 days from now, and I'm SO not ready for the beach. Do they sell liposuction in a bottle yet?

7. Work has been really really crazy, and we've been totally shorthanded and this is where I usually find my time to post, so I hope it gets better, since we just hired a new girl.

8. The new girl is 17, but, um, way younger than that. Like didn't know who Dolly Parton was young. Like sometimes skips instead of walking young. Like didn't know what West Point was, cuz she's "like totally not from around here" young. She just graduated on Tuesday.

9. My new aupair is homesick. And my kids drove her so crazy yesterday that she really really really wanted to go back home.

10. Oh, and she crashed my car this week. For the third time.

11. My 4th turned one. My 2nd turned six. Two parties, 4 cakes...insane amounts of chocolate calories.

That's all I can think of right now...