Memo to the muscle head in the skin tight shirt:
When using the ONLY Smith Machine in the gym, could you please actually USE it? The fact that I wanted to use the machine for my chest workout today is completely beside the point. I was in the free weight room for a full 15 minutes doing bi, tri, and shoulders; and during said time you did nothing but flap your jaws with the guy who cleans the room. You may have all day to sit around and talk at the gym, but some of us are on a schedule. You may have 12” and 200 lbs on me, but I’ll cut you.

P.S. You’re not that hot. Get over yourself.

Memo to the couple in the matching track suits:
You’re adorable, we get it. Please stop flaunting. Is it really necessary to sit across from each other on alternating machines for EVERY set? And two people sitting facing each other on the same bench doing different exercises? Really not necessary kids. Don’t worry…with your matching outfits and your matching I-pods with the matching earphones that you leave dangling around your neck, we know you’re a couple, K? you really don’t have to hold hands between exercises, and use “baby” as every third word.

Memo to self:
Don’t wait for the yapper to finish with the Smith Machine by doing tri, bi, and shoulders, or you’ll be blown for chest when you finally decide you’ll have to use a machine if you want to get any chest in at all. And stay away from the double mint twins…they make your stomach turn.