The thing about hormones is, they completely screw up that little part of your brain that's responsible for rational thought and behavior. And, my friends, post-partum hormones are no exception to the rule.

I sent my husband to the grocery store. Yes, I know, men are incapeable of grocery shopping as a general rule, but I was prepared...I had a list, organized by aisle, of everything he needed. I was brand specific. I was size specific. I was freaking insanely specific. Now, in his defense, and believe me, it's a weak defense at best, he did take one of our kids with him, which he claims is the reason he was "distracted" and unable to get everything I asked for. This is where I have a problem. When he says he couldn't "get everything", what he really means to say is "I got 3 bags of hot and spicey pork rinds and a tub of vanilla ice cream, so I figured we didn't need any fruit or vegetables." And when he says "I couldn't find the canned green beans or the bags of chicken breasts or the lean sirloin" what he meant to say is "well, I was trying to decide between the smores pop tarts and the blueberry frosted, and I figured that was more important". When he says "your son was throwing a fit and I barely had time to grab a gallon of milk and run for the front" what he meant was "I was standing there in the dairy section and I grabbed the milk, but then for some reason I couldn't find the butter or the yogurt, or the sour cream, or the cheese, or the cream cheese, or the cottage cheese."

He came home with 3 things I asked him to get and about 35 that were not on the list...guess how many of his choices are healthy? I couldn't make an actual meal out of the food he bought if you paid me.

But we were talking about hormones, weren't we? Did I accept this frustrating yet mildly amusing experience for what it was---my husband's loose interpretation of required groceries? Or did I have a complete mental breakdown? Oh, I think you know the answer to that. Yes, in my hormonally altered state I actually had a 45 minute sobbing fit. You see, my husband's inability to follow a list was clearly a deliberate and malicious act, aimed at showing me that he doesn't love or respect me. Clearly, this means that not only does he hate me and want me to suffer, but it means that for the rest of my life I can NEVER DEPEND ON ANYONE TO EVER HELP ME WITH ANYTHING....NEVER NEVER NEVER...I'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO REST BECAUSE NOW I HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING MYSELF...That's right, it's me the martyer speaking.

Okay, so I'm over it now, but still...those hormones are a bitch.