During the day, I struggle under the weight of my eyelids, but when darkness falls I find myself terrified to close my eyes. I’ve become painfully aware of the passing of time, and find myself clinging in desperation to each moment as it slips through my fingers. Willing myself to remember. Willing myself to appreciate. Willing myself to keep it together. But the time passes and each day blurs into the next and at the end of the week I’m left with a haze of unremarkable moments when I know in my heart that there was so much more there. So much more I’m overlooking, or forgetting, or missing. And the time, it just keeps passing. Weighed and measured by lost chances, missed opportunities, action not taken, words that cannot be taken back, and those that were never said. And the thought of all I’m missing, all I’ve missed and all I’ll never know, tugs at my mind and threatens to pull me under.