You know what I hate today? People who like their husbands.

I think that the major reason I feel this way is that everytime I hear that someone likes their spouse, it makes me feel as though my choice of a lifepartner proves just how inadequate I am at judging the character of others. I know, I know, marriage is hard...but that statement just doesn't do it for me. Hard is one thing. I could handle hard. I just can't handle impossible. I can't handle feeling taken advantage of. I can't handle a lack of common courtesy. I can't handle being the only responsible one. I can't handle always having to be the bigger person. And the funny thing is, if you can call it funny that is, is that before two years ago when I was walking the path of the seperated-almost-divorced single mother, I was completely resigned to the fact that I was going to spend the rest of my life in a miserable marriage. I was beaten. I was in such a hole of depression that I had forgotten that light even existed. And then, once the shock of seperation wore off and I started to find myself again, I realized how bad it really had been. Find myself. That sounds so cliche. I guess it wasn't so much finding myself as it was waking from a long bad dream. Anyway, during that period when I was finally waking up, I remembered what happy felt like. I remembered what loved felt like. I remembered what respected felt like. I remembered what wanted, and liked, and confident, and capeable felt like.

And I miss it terribly.